Alex's Grief
by Gray
Summary: An attempt at an insight into how Alex felt right after Luna was kidnapped...A different side of the normally quiet hero is shown...


Disclaimer: A lot of people own Lunar…GameArts, Working Designs, and a few more if I'm not mistaken, so forgive me for using the characters for my own purposes, I promise to put them back when I'm done. Although I might beat up Nash a little bit just for fun…heh heh heh. Well, not in this fic…

This story takes place right after Ghaleon kidnaps Luna in the PS version of Lunar 1.

Lunar: Silver Star Story

"Alex's Grief"

By Gray

Have you ever felt like you failed someone? I don't mean fail them as in you forget their birthday, or are late to meet them someplace…I mean really let them down. I failed someone today. Her name is Luna. She's a girl that I've known since before I could walk, and I don't think I've ever cared about someone as much as I care about her…Is it love? I don't know…I do know though, that I won't ever find out now. I thought we had our whole lives to find that answer. But not anymore…Damn it…Me and my stupid ideas! I wanted to go an adventure, I wanted to see the world, fight monsters, and maybe…maybe become a Dragonmaster like my hero, Dyne. And now…Now Luna is gone because of it. If I had just let her stay on that dock instead of convincing her to leap aboard that boat, none of this would have happened! Ghaleon never would have met her, and therefore, he never would have kidnapped her…Ghaleon, that bastard…I…I'll kill him! I'll rip him apart! I'll stab my sword into his hide and watch as he screams in pain…I…I want to make him suffer…He took Luna…Damn him to hell…Ha, what am I saying! I'm just a child! A pathetic little boy with a sword! Ghaleon was one of the Four Heroes! He'd crush me like an ant under his boot! I witnessed first hand his power on the way to Quark's cave. He obliterated monsters like they were nothing! His weakest spell could annihilate scores of beasts. If I didn't hate the miserable bastard so much I might admire his skill. As it is, the very thought of fighting him makes my heart hammer in fear. Some hero I am…I wanted to be like Dyne and save the world. I can't even save one girl! And worse, I'm afraid! Dyne wouldn't be afraid…He'd rescue Luna and defeat Ghaleon with ease…Okay, maybe that's a little unrealistic. Dyne was amazing, but he wasn't a god. Even he would have trouble beating the Magic Emperor. But still…he wouldn't be afraid to try, and that's what's important…I…I'm so pathetic…Luna…how could you ever love me? I'm nothing. I'm…I'm not brave, and I'm not cut out to be your hero. I only hope you find someone who can be…

"So this is where you are…After you woke up, we were worried because we couldn't find you…But your Mother figured you'd be here…" The familiar voice was gruff, but it carried an edge of concern. Alex did not respond. He continued to stare out at the horizon from beside Dyne's monument. Laike watched the boy carefully. He could see the sagging shoulders, the bowed head, the absence of Nall, but most of all, he couldn't see the familiar spark of courage that first made him take notice of the boy. Alex's will had been badly shaken. His faith in his abilities was almost non-existent right now. Something had to be done. This young man was Lunar's only hope like it or not. He was the only one who could become a Dragonmaster now that Quark was gone, and without a Dragonmaster…Well, Lunar might as well say goodbye now…

"You shouldn't blame yourself Alex…It wasn't your fault." Laike said. Alex's head slumped further, and Laike could see his fists clenching by his sides. Well, maybe anger would be better then sadness…

"I don't think Luna would blame you Alex…" Laike began, but was cut off when Alex whirled on him with a look of fury on his face, something rather alien on the normally calm and kind-hearted boy.

"I blame myself! It was my fault Laike! I should have protected her! I should have left her in Burg! If I had, none of this would have happened!" He yelled. Laike's face was unreadable, and it lacked its usual jovialness.

"Do you truly believe that? Do you honestly thin leaving her here in Burg would have made any difference at all?" He asked. Alex bowed his head again, and tears threatened to spill forth. 

"I…I don't know…" He whispered. He turned around and resumed his stare of the landscape. Laike noticed that he avoided looking at his…Dyne's monument. 

"Why are you not staring at Dyne's monument? I thought it was your favorite thing to do?" Laike asked. Alex slumped.

"Because I can't bear to look at it... Besides Luna, I let Dyne down too. He's my hero, and I always wanted to be like him, but I failed…" He said quietly. Laike sighed.

"Dyne would be very proud of you Alex. In fact, I'm sure he would wish he had some of your courage…" Laike said mysteriously. Alex laughed humorlessly.

"Ha…Courage…yeah right…" He muttered. 

"Don't make light of yourself Alex. You're a very brave young man. You've already seen and done things that most boys your age can only dream of. I heard about what you did in Lann. Do you think anyone could have gathered the courage to defeat that fake Dragonmaster and save those innocent people from starvation?" Laike asked, trying to boost Alex's confidence.

"Nash, Jessica, Nall, and Luna did…" Alex said angrily. Laike sighed.

"And who led them? Who completed the White Dragon trial? Who saved Saith? Who fought Hell Mel to a standstill? Who stopped the sewer monster of Meribia?" Laike asked with a smugness to his voice.

"Look, my point is Alex, that the only one who can defeat Ghaleon is you. The only one who can save Lunar is you, and most important of all…The only one who can rescue Luna is you…" Laike said. He watched Alex, noting how his words had made the youth's jaw clench, and his hands to form fists.

"So…What will you do now Alex of Burg?" The older man asked finally.

"I…I…" Alex closed his eyes and turned to Laike, opening them after a moment. They no longer showed sorrow or self-loathing. They were full of strength and courage. They made Laike smile.

"I'm going to become the Dragonmaster! I'm going to kill Ghaleon! And…" He turned to Dyne's monument, staring at it almost defiantly.

"And I'm going to save Luna!!!" 

"I'm going to save you Luna…I'm going to be your hero…I will not rest until you're safe once more…"


End file.
